Thursday, August 8, 2019
Aaron and I went to tepanyaki last night to enjoy an evening out. As we got seated our cook kindly asks, "Celebrating anything special tonight?" We reply, " No nothing special." He quickly responds with, "Have any kids?" We both look at each other and Aaron squeezes my hand and we say "no" both a little hesitant. He continues with, "Planning on it?" and then there's that long pause... (what response should I use today?) I go with my usual answer, "someday" and he moves onto the next couple. No big deal, but I can feel that burning in my throat and fight it back and wipe a tear off of my cheek, hoping no one would notice, and we enjoyed the rest of our delicious dinner. He was a very nice young man and didn't mean any harm. But the truth is we had just lost our third baby. Our third little baby that didn't make it. Another baby that didn't get to be held in our arms. We had just started the whole IVF process over again. The numerous shots, medications, blood draws, and doctor visits because our previous cycle did not result in any additional embryos. It's been a rough one. If I'm being honest it's been really hard on our marriage. One of the things I've learned through this process is people grieve differently. Aaron and I grieve differently and that's okay, we're learning to give each other that space to do so. It's a process that hasn't been easy but we are still hopeful because the EXCITING NEWS is we were able to freeze 4 beautiful, healthy embryos to transfer in the future. Four little miracles are still waiting for us. We are not sure when that time will be but someday soon it will happen. Until then we appreciate your prayers so much and know that we have so many amazing people in our corner rooting us on. So thank you!