Changes

Change, why does it seem so difficult sometimes? I have never been a fan of change. My girlfriends still joke with me about the night one of my best friends was moving to Rhode Island for college. A friend that I had gone to school with from kindergarten to Jr. College. I was not ready to see her go. I wanted to be able to see her face everyday, but I knew this change was going to be so fun for her. I just didn't see it then. She got to see the country and meet new people (and thank goodness she just moved back to California). But that night when she was leaving, she and my closest girlfriends were saying good-bye and all I could say was ,"I hate change" over and over again (while my girlfriends laughed at me). Because I was afraid of the change that would take place. I liked things just how they were. But it was good change, I love her just as much now, if not more, and life went on. We've grown-up (some) and are doing bigger, better things.

Our Rehearsal dinner night

The night before we got married

 Fast forward to March 26, 2010 the night before I was going to marry my sweet husband. I might have had a small break down (or a large one, you'll never know) but I was afraid of the change that was taking place. I was leaving the home I grew up in for over 20 years. Where I was tucked in every night, cuddled when I was scared, celebrated birth days, and first kisses. I wasn't feeling ready to leave that behind. Although I was so excited to begin my life with Aaron. Thank goodness for my fiancé and best friends who ran to my rescue and helped me finish packing for my honeymoon and assured me everything would be perfect. And they were right. We had the most beautiful wedding, amazing honeymoon, and we continue to have a wonderful marriage.  I still have my family down the street and the memories we made in our home.

 Our families together

Honeymoon in Mexico

 On August 15, 2010 I experienced the most difficult change to date. I lost my best friend Jaimee Baker Renfrow to Cystic Fibrosis. This girl is unlike any you have met before. She is amazing. An angel. Her presence radiates joy. She will forever be apart of me. This is one I'm still working through (and may forever be). See this post.

Our last picture together

Bachelorette party in Vegas

As I reflect on our second year of marriage change is popping up in my head again. We have made a few changes this year that have really stretched me. Our first year of marriage seemed to fly by with all the new things (house, car, furniture, busy with jobs, and social life) but year two was a little more difficult. Definitely wonderful overall but had it's had moments of change that I'm still working on. Moments where I have slowed down to reflect on our marriage. Aaron decided he wasn't loving his former job last fall and decided he was ready for a career change. At first I was a little scared but we are young and I knew this is what he needed and the time to do it. He decided so study hard for his Real Estate test and become a real estate agent. He is loving it and is amazing. His personality is perfect for the job.

 The other change this year has come as we have switched Cystic Fibrosis treatment centers from USC to Stanford University. Both have amazing doctors and teams but we were ready to be a little closer to home and see what other options for treatments we could get up north. This change is also scary. We knew all the staff at USC. And Aaron really loved his doctor. But it was time for a change, time to try new methods, and to enter drug trials. In changing hospitals though it required hearing some harsh news and medical information, and trying to get the team to hear our story and where he comes from, and his past 30 years of treatments. Working hard to get to know each other to get the best care possible. Aaron has also been in the hospital 4 times since we've been married (and countless other times during our 5 years of dating) which has definitely caused me to have some low moments. It brings on some scary change that is sometimes a lot to handle. In these moments when my husband is sick I try to be strong. I last for a few days and then loose it. I let doubt and fear enter my brain in the moments when I should be the strongest on my husbands behalf. Thank goodness he is stronger than me in this area, and assures me we will get through this. He is so amazing. He has dealt with Cystic Fibrosis since he was born. He has remained faithful through countless surgeries and weeks of hospital stays, daily hour long treatments (and tons of people staring at him when he coughs. It's not contagious folks you're ok) Through years of doctors saying he wouldn't make it to his teens and he did, to his 20's and he did. He is now 30. 30 and strong. Never doubtful. Never afraid of the future. Never has he lost his vision that God will heal him. Never has he stopped praying. And he never will. For this and million other reasons I'm so so thankful the Lord brought him into my life to show me faith that I have never seen before. I vowed to love this man in sickness and in health. Daily I think about that. Daily I choose to love him. Daily I need to thank the Lord.

 What I'm trying to learn is that change is good. It's beautiful, it causes me to get pushed out of my comfort zone and into a place where the only thing I can do is have Faith that my God is in control. He is bigger than my sadness, fear, finances, and disease. Change will bring new discoveries. New discoveries may bring new medicine. Healing medicine. Life changing! I know He has a plan for our marriage. To hopefully have children, and grand-children. To lead lives that are pleasing to Him. To cherish time with our family and dear friends. We are so blessed by our loved ones. I know I post a lot about our trips and fun activities but I wanted to share some real thoughts about our journey. That's what's been on my mind lately. Change. Good change.