Real Talk: I wasn't sure I was ready to share this, but here goes nothing!
2017 started off with some scary news while I was at the Dr.'s office in January my Dr. found something unexpected. The appointment started out great, there I am in the stirrups she's looking around complimenting my left ovary (haha) and then scans over to the right and pauses. She keeps looking around and her tone has changed, but I don't think much of it until she begins measuring an area and taking pictures. Then she says she thinks she would like a second opinion, do I mind? I of course say no go ahead. She leaves the room, and now I'm thinking, this is odd things were going great, and now I'm alone, legs still up, and in walks another physician. I think to myself *super, bring everyone in, at this point there's no shame in my game. He takes a closer look and agrees with her, he doesn't like what he sees and says he would like me to get an MRI. A few weeks pass and I finally get my MRI. As my Dr. suspected I had a tumor that needed to be removed. At this point I'm feeling all the emotions, scared, nervous, shocked, and a sense of strength. "a what?" it's still weird even typing those words now. A tumor. We quickly scheduled a surgery at Stanford Hospital (where all of my appointments were happening) and was recommended the best gynecologic oncology surgeon. He laid out all the best options which of course we wanted the tumor removed and hopefully my right ovary to be preserved. He was going to do his best but see how it looked once he got in to see it. The chances of it being cancerous were about 50-50. It wasn't a cyst (those are pretty common and come and go). This was abnormally shaped and completely covering my right ovary.
My surgery was a couple weeks out and of course life goes on. My family was very concerned but super supportive. I clung to the hope that, "it was nothing." I was feeling pretty confident about it. I think that was my coping mechanism. We prayed and knew whatever was to come God was in control, to just be still and hold tight to his promises. Side note… I bought this sign in the midst of this season to remind me daily to be still and know that he is God. It hangs above our bed as a reminder.
Fast forward to surgery day…My family all drove to Stanford to be there with me, along with some amazing best friends. Long story short everything went great. My surgeon was amazing. He made me feel so comfortable (as this was my first surgery). The surgery was laparoscopic and I had to spend a night in the hospital. I was apparently all sorts of crazy after my surgery waving like a princess as they rolled me through the hospital and my entourage paradded along behind me laughing of course! My surgeon was quick to inform my family that he thinks he got everything but unfortunately the tumor ruptured my right ovary, and he took out some surrounding tissue and lymph nodes to biopsy. A few weeks later my results were in and the tumor was borderline-benign. Which was great news. We all couldn't have been more pleased. I will continue with follow up appointments regularly, but things are looking great. Plenty more Dr. appointments to come and some other hurdles, but we'll save that for another day!
I'm sure I forgot some details, but that is the gist of the story which leads to now. During that season of unknown some thoughts of course creep in. What if this is worst case scenario? Have I accomplished all my dreams, have I made a positive impact on the people around me, have I crossed things off my bucket list? These thoughts have pushed me to dream bigger, love harder, and beg my husband to book a European adventure! Moral of the story…go do it! Whatever your dream is. Life is too short. So here we are loading the plane. If you have any must see, eat, and do items send them my way!
